What do you get when you cross a $65K car, a lake, and a 17 IQ?

It was Saturday night, Mike, Lindsey, The Captain, and I were at the docks at the Navajo Reservoir Dam to refill our water supply and meet up with some other friends that were going to join us later. As we are sitting on the dock I watch a brand new Corvette Z06 pull up and park on the hill. The driver was a mid 40’s man with a gut, and his passenger… I would say she was his daughter, but they way they spoke to each other I’m pretty sure she was his mistress. I thought nothing much more of this and listened as The Captain discussed how his boat, the Margarita Spill, was having motor trouble.

A few minutes had passed when the vette began to slowly roll down the hill. He must be turning around to leave. To our surprise though, it did not stop as it got close to the water. It was when the sports car began drifting out into the lake and toward the Spill that we realized that the driver and the girl were nowhere around! The Captain reacts with intentions of protecting his boat by jumping into the water in front to the car. I was immediately jumping in behind him. We went completely under! The water was at least 10 ft deep! This vette was now a boat!

We nearly had the car back on land when the owner came running up. “Hey thanks guys, I can’t swim.” That was it! I would have been freaking out! Finally the wheels are back on solid ground, but most of the car is still underwater. “Hey, you think I should just start it and back it out the rest of the way?” Come on man, all of us here have been drinking for most of the evening and even we know that is not a good idea! We explain to him that he probably doesn’t want to do that until a mechanic has gone through the engine. He didn't seem to understand and kept asking anyway.

At this point I realized how awesome it would be to have pictures of this, it was SO funny that none of us could contain ourselves and were chuckling under our breath. I thought about going back to the boat to get my camera. *FLASH* Sweet! Lindsey had grabbed my camera and started taking pictures! Perfect timing!

We spent a few minutes looking for a suitable place to tow from the back, but we couldn’t see anything. We didn't want to do any damage to the suspension by trying to pull this now 6000lb by hooking up to it. I checked the owners manual to look for the tow points and under towing it says “Please consult your dealer or towing professional in order to tow this car.” Again he does not really understand our warnings and begins to tie it to something. While he is doing this his girlfriend decided to get in. She opens the door which of course allows the water inside to level out and the car settles down on the ground. When she is in there she lets the parking brake go! It rolls back down into the water! Luckily we were still standing there and were able to stop it before it goes too far in.

That was it though, no more help from us. Some other people had arrived and were helping him pull it out so we went back to the boat. We get to watch him get it pulled almost out of the water, but because the wheels were turned, the car veered directly toward the dock. They stop pulling and try adjusting the straps to pull the other way. Immediately the car begins rolling back into the water and starts floating away! That’s three times! Sorry dude but our help was a one time deal and you go two for one, you are on your own for this one! We were having a hard time not laughing at them while they floundered to pull it out again so we untied and began out trek back to the houseboat (without our water.) When our friends arrived a bit later they said he had spend about an hour with the stereo blaring static and trying to start it while water was flowing from the exhaust. He could have saved it before but I’m sure there’s water in the cylinders and it is probably pretty rusted by now.

What I cant figure out is how a guy with that level of intelligence can afford a car like that? That’s $65K new, Inheritance must be nice.