Ahh Colorado..
Yes, this is one of those emails you get with a bunch of jokes but I liked it when I saw it yeas ago and it still works today. I will even add a few of my own.
You know you are from Colorado when:
1. You switch from "A/C" to "Heat" in one day.
2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.
4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your own special bike lane. and you actually use the bike lane
6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.
7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer. Frat Tire? nahh, pass me a Buster Nut Brown
9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJ’s.
11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and spring blizzards.
12. You've been tear-gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU's victory.
13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
14. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
14.5. You know the definition of the "12-inch rule"
15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
15.5. Durango Specific: You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Florida
16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.
17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
21. You know what a 'Chinook' is
22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is. If you dont know... Dont ask
23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
24. But you don't know what a "turn signal" is.
25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Republican in Congress does.
26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
27. You know who Alfred Packer was and what he did.
28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over_________ Pass.'
43. You've done 'checking for ticks'
44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka w/ a hood.
45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
46. You've gone sunbathing in January and...
47. They were in the same year!
48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run into both oceans'.
49. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
5 Comments:
For some reason I don't get tired of reading those...it makes me laugh every single time. Hope you have a great day!:)
I can't say I understood all of those, but believe it or not, some of them actually apply to Philadelphia, too:
You switch from "A/C" to "Heat" in one day.
We can go from sunny in the 60s to freezing rain in less than 24 hours.
Your car insurance costs more than your car.
The average Philadelphian pays over $4000 per year for car insurance.
You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
Make that 3 more cars, two pedestrians and a SEPTA bus.
On the other hand, we are like 40 feet above sea level, and they close the schools when there's 2 inches of snow.
So what's a fourteener?
Yea most of them are pretty generic...
a fourteener is a Mountian that is more than 14000Ft there are 53 fourteeners in Colorado, I have only climbed one. You can see pictures in my gallery under 2peaks, and probably more than one post about it.
I didn't really mean that they were generic. I just thought it was funny. Someone did one of those for Philly. I'll have to dig it up.
I thought maybe fourteener had to do with mountains, but seeing as how my state's highest elevation is like 3200, it's not a term I'd be familiar with!
Some of these don't work for colorado at all. Especially the driving ones. Sure, being able to drive in snow is one thing, and I will not argue that many Coloradoans have it in spades in that category, it is their inability to drive under normal dry conditions that baffle me. The red light absolutely does not fit any of the drivers I have seen here. I have not known such a slow bunch of timid people behind the wheel in my life to date. A yellow light to CO drivers generally means 'don't even think about entering the intersection lest we all be killed!' It's terrible, I tell you. And apparently the slightest hint of rain means we must now go 15mph below the speed limit. What fun. Some lady decided the other day that she would turn left from the right lane right in front of me because I only left her a 15 foot gap ahead of me to merge in the 2 BLOCKS she had her signal on. It does not make sense, I hate it, I hate it.
Visit pantsparty.blogspot.com, bitches.
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